For me, the time to give thanks is every day. That’s because I am reminded, each and every day, of the person who made me the woman that I am: my grandma, whom I called “Bako.”
Bako raised me. She came to America from the former Yugoslavia in 1981, when I was born, to help my young parents as they were just starting their family. I was Bako’s first daughter’s first child. We had an instant bond. She taught me about my heritage; she taught me the Serbian language. She took me home to Montenegro, after I hadn’t been there for almost ten years, to reconnect me with my family. I’ve been back every year since, even through the country’s instability, NATO bombardment, and war-imposed sanctions. Bako’s home was my home. In fact, Bako was home to me. That will never change.
Bako was my pillar, too. She was my secret-keeper. She was the inspiration behind everything I ever did. She carved my life’s path for me without even knowing it. She was beautiful-even magical. She was my world.
Bako’s warmth, humility, strength, understanding and unconditional love built the foundation for my character and defined the traits that I now admire in others. For most, these characteristics probably sound pretty common-just your every day run-of-the-mill way to describe someone you care about. For me, though, they represent a package that’s hard to come by. They represent what’s at the core of the human heart. It’s this “core” that Bako shared most closely with me, and it’s the very reason why I am so very grateful to have had her as my grandma.
The pain of Bako’s loss in 2007 left behind an endless gap, not only in my life, but in all the lives she had touched in her short 72 years. When Bako passed, the magic ceased. I thought I would never move on.
I miss Bako every day. But even through the tears, I always stop to say thanks. I am blessed to have Bako in my life for the time that I did. As she used to say to me, “Ti si moje sunce,” – ” You are my sun.” Now, she is my sun, watching over me, guiding me, illuminating my path. She will be with me always, and I will forever be grateful for that.
